The Ultimate List Of Why College Sucks

Learning doesn’t suck. I just don’t know why you have to pay so much, for so little. I mean, for fucks sake, a library card is free and there are Meetups all over the world if you need to discuss things with your “peers”.

Here is my incredibly insightful list of reasons why college sucks:

  • A college degree costs more than a house.
  • A vast majority of the professors are insanely left leaning. If you are middle of the road, Libertarian, or conservative you are fucked.
  • Most college professors have never, ever, done anything professional (earned money) remotely related to what they are teaching. I’m not counting grants from the Government, because we know that’s just bullshit on a stick designed to create research that supports some politically driven policy.
  • Unless you are in the Southeast or Southern California, the dating scene will probably suck.
  • Opportunity cost is a bitch. You won’t have time to work, and will end up going into debt just to drink shitty beer with your friends in the attic of a musty 132 year old house.
  • You will be surrounded by puffy, soy guzzling, boys. On the upside there will be tons of women on campus that are dying to spread their wings, so to speak, so you’ll need to start drinking black coffee and get your ass to a gym ASAP.
  • You’ll move back into your parents house after college because you won’t be able to get an apartment on the money you will make working at the movie theater.

EdX and Coursera are free, so is a library card. Go read, then start a business. You will learn a metric fuck ton, and earn along the way. Then if you want to feel special at garden parties on the Cape, go get yourself a Bachelors of Science in Management from Boston University online, while you are at work running your business.