How To Pay For College

I dropped over 100k on college degrees and racked up a good amount of debt. If I can’t figure out a way to pay for all of that, the fucking degrees are absolutely worthless.

We have been conditioned to think that we go to college, get a degree, go to work. Parents have been brainwashed into thinking that they are on the hook to pay for their kids college education. But tuition has become so back breaking that it’s just way too expensive for families to afford. So everyone turns to student loans.

The Federal Government is more than happy to lend you money and get you into back breaking debt. This means that you will get a job, settle down, don’t move around too much causing trouble. I won’t go over the deep end on my theories about how I think this is horribly fucked up, that’s another post.

Are There Alternatives To Going Into Debt To Pay For College?

Yes. Student Loan debt is indentured servitude, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I don’t want you to do what I did. Stay out of debt as much as possible. Take 1 class at a time if you have to and pay as you go. Get your employer to pay for your graduate degrees. Work while you are in undergrad. Go to a community college for the first two years, then transfer to a University to finish up. Apply for scholarships and grants.

There are many ways to pay for college.

Yes, there is free college money laying around, but not in the sense that some politicians would like you to think. Tuition is through the fucking roof, and it makes no sense since the value just isn’t there. But, you need a degree to get past the gatekeepers at most companies in the US, and it’s going to take a long time to get past that.

Here is some typical “How to pay for college” stuff that you can find anywhere, I am including this because there might be someone that needs the information.

Pay For College With Grants and Scholarships

If you are still in high school and thinking about college, I am assuming you are working your ass off to get good grades. Do the best you can do and apply for academic scholarships.

In spite of what you might find while “Googling for college money”, there are very few “grants for single mothers” available other than what is already available through public assistance. A wide range of grants and scholarships are available, it just takes some work on your part to find sources, then filter them down to what you might be eligible to receive. Grants and scholarships are awesome, because it is money you are awarded based on need or performance, and you don’t have to pay them back.

  • Federal Grants: May be available to those who qualify and some are often based on financial need.
  • State Grants: May be available and based on financial need or other qualifications.
  • Institutional Grants: Some schools award grants for merit or financial need for those who qualify.
  • Organizational Grants: Some organizations award grants to eligible students, such as career development grants offered by the American Association of University Women.

Military Service To Pay For College

If you served in the military, I hope you’re aware that there are many programs available to you to pay for college. If you are a service disabled vet, there are even more options for you to use. Almost every school in the United States offers various grants and scholarships for veterans.
Here are some ways to pay for college that you might not have considered.

Get A Job With The U.S. Government To Pay For College

Getting a job with the government is like joining the mafia, except you don’t get shot if you want to leave.

Working for the U.S. Government has many, many advantages. In spite of what Government employees, and their Unions, will try to tell you, Government employees are paid very well, particularly for the amount and type of work that they do. The benefits are incredible. Vacation, sick days, health care, long term care, dental, vision, Thrift Savings Plan (a 401k type savings plan), Federal Employee Retirement System (a defined benefit retirement plan, one of the few left anywhere in the country), educational benefits, tuition reimbursement, some agencies offer a student loan repayment plan, and when you work for the Government, you are probably eligible for the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program.

Government jobs are secure. Once you are a government employee, and get past your probation period (2 years total), then reach career status (3 years total service), you have a better chance of dying that you do of getting fired by the government.

There are some significant disadvantages to working for the Government, particularly if you have any self respect or take pride in your work. The vast majority of people that work for the Government have never done anything in a productive, professional sense. They have never delivered anything that had to make a profit. Deadlines don’t matter, you can’t get fired. They think that if you wear a suit and tie, you’re a professional and demand respect. They are morons. It is painful. Every supervisor that I have met, and specifically those in the Senior Executive Service, are incompetent. They bitch about the amount of work they have to do and how little they are paid to do it. Please, get a job in industry and then tell me how bad your Government job was. The Emperor’s have no clothes. They know it, we know it, and it’s horribly uncomfortable.

Take it in stride and do what you do, take the job and get what you can out of it. Basically it’s free money for life.

Go to and look around at the types of jobs that are available. If you see something you like, reach out to everyone you know, to see if you or anyone you know works at the specific agency. You need to know someone to get hired in the government, and that’s no shit.

U.S. Government Internships and STEM Scholarships To Pay For College

These internships and scholarship programs are a no-shit way to make money over the summers while you are in college, and the STEM scholarships pay a stipend and 100% of your tuition. There are obviously specific degree programs and entrance criteria, but these are underutilized and everyone should know about them.

Community College For The First Two Years

This is a huge money saver, but not really a way to “pay for college”. Tuition at community colleges is typically less that at a 4 year school. This means you will either borrow less, or be able to pay the tuition easier. Do your “first two years” at a community college, then transfer to a 4 year school to complete your Undergraduate degree. This is also a great way to “clean up your academic record” if, like me, you didn’t do so well in high school.

Work While In School

Most colleges have work study programs where you can earn some money while in school. You work for the school doing any number of things: tutoring, work in the cafeteria, help coaches with team administration, help desk, student center, etc.

You can get a job in town. Suck it up.

Tutoring and Homework Assistance

Aside from what the school officially offers, some kids need more attention, and their parents are willing to pay for it. Little Johnny or Suzy might be dumb as a fucking rock, but they landed in college and Daddy wants to make sure they can get through English Lit. I have helped stupid or lazy kids get work done, to the tune of $50 an hour. You will want to keep it as anonymous as possible. I suggest running ads on Craigslist offering your service, payment via PayPal, and all contact through protonmail or gmail account set up specifically for this purpose. It’s a business, no need to get all stupid about it. You are just providing assistance, reviewing papers, making some suggested edits, maybe offering up an example to an exercise that you think it correct for them to review, etc. You know where I’m going with this. You’re not one of the dumb kids.


Yes, you can make money driving for Uber. But did you know that the people that make a ton of money as Uber drivers supplement? You have a captive audience in your back seat. I would NEVER encourage anyone to do anything that is illegal, but I have heard of instances where you can get a ride through Uber and since the driver is a local he will know where the best clubs are, women, men, after hours or convenient booze, drugs, condoms, convenient cigarettes, cigars, etc. Maybe it’s just an urban legend. Dunno. I just know you can make bank driving for Uber.


Compete in the global economy and do shit work on Upwork to build up your skills. Upwork is like Uber. Do some work, initial contact with people that need your skills, do an awesome fucking job (underpromise and overdeliver) then take it outside Upwork for follow on work. Their fees are absurd. Not a problem paying the fee for the first gig, but if you want 20% of my ass for life you’d better offer more than a matchmaking service.

But wait, there’s more

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